loans for a wedding?!

There has been a lot of talk about money and opulent wedding related spending on the bee today -- Mrs. Caterpillar's "The Weight of the World" post and Miss Jasmine's "Opulent Wedding Spending" post.



I wanted to address this too. When we started planning our wedding my mother saw an advertisement for a local bank in our small town. I wish I'd kept it so I could show it to you. There was a picture of a bride and her father ready to walk down the isle in their back yard (a la "Father of the Bride" [1991] with Steve Martin). The advertisement was encouraging you to take out a second mortgage on your home to give your daughter "the day of her dreams!"

When my mother found this she nearly died. She decided there was no way we'd let our planning get to that point -- she had "x dollars" to contribute to the wedding and that was it. We could use this money towards the wedding, towards a down payment on an apartment -- whatever we wanted to do.

With hard work and serious prioritising we were able to come in 4% under budget when all was said and done! I am very proud of the wedding we pulled off and love that our guests felt welcome and thought it was tasteful and fun.

What to do:

My advice, to those of you who are just starting to plan, is decide what you have to spend BEFORE you start planning. I know this sounds basic, but so many people jump right in with out talking about money first and end up WAY over their heads. Talk with both sets of parents and come to a solid bottom line. Then from there make priorities. If a wedding in the city where you met is what you value most, then make certain compromises -- you'll have less people, buy a dress off the rack, forgo a cake etc.

How we did it:

We set up a solid budget (including tip, tax and delivery costs) for the total number of guests we were inviting -- not how many people we thought would attend. Then did some research in each area to get a ball park of the costs and then started looking for vendors knowing what we had to spend in each category. It can be done on a budget -- restaurant receptions, off season, Friday nights -- there are so many ways to host a wedding that won't put you in debt before you even begin your lives together!

If any of you have money saving tips or have questions about choices we made along the way, please comment below.

Fall/Winter wedding ideas -- SALE!

I was looking at the Pottery Barn website this morning and saw some great sale items that would be cozy for fall or winter wedding decor.


POMEGRANATE CENTERPIECE CANDLEHOLDER -- Was $79.00, Now $54.00


6" - 23" Pillar Holders -- Was $14.00 - $44, Now $9.00 - $29


OAKLEAF GARLAND -- Was $34.00, Now $16.99
(forget the "boo" in the middle)


POMEGRANATE PHEASANT WREATH -- Was $79.00, Now $54.00


PUMPKIN CANDLES -- Tall Candle Was $24.00, Now $11.99


WOODEN PHOTO DISPLAY -- Was $49.00, Now $39.99

How great would this be for a photo display near your guest book?!


AIRES LANTERN - Was $14 - $179, Now $9.99 - $124.99
These would be so cool as part of a centerpiece


BRONZE TAG PLACE CARD HOLDERS, Set of 4 was $14.00, Now $9.00

And this would be my favorite!


GLASS PANEL PILLAR CHANDELIER -- Was $279.00, Now $199.00

Maybe over the head table?! This is a little more expensive, but you could keep it for your own dinning room after the wedding!

For all of the current sale items click here.

Your first home

Buying your first home as husband and wife is a huge accomplishment and no easy task. Mr. Onion and I have started seriously looking for an apartment in NYC. We did the math and figured out what we would be spending on rent over the next 4-5 years (assuming we stayed where we are and our rent was never increased -- ha) and realized it would be more than enough for a down payment! We want to start building equity, make a good investment and it would be so nice to have a place to call our own.


An example of my dream apartment -- anyone have 8-10 million dollars to loan us? Or better yet, a generous wedding gift?! Haha.

Because of our budget we are limited in location and we know we want to remain in Manhattan proper (not move to NJ, Queens or far out in Brooklyn). So our search has been limited to upper Manhattan. The most helpful website we've found while hunting for a place in the city has been www.streeteasy.com.

Streeteasy is pretty comprehensive, pulls from all different real estate agencies listings and gives some really helpful information like how long the property has been on the market, the asking price history etc. I feel like we've learned so much in just the past month and can't wait to take that step. We've been pre-approved for a mortgage and are working with an real estate agent we trust so when we find the best place for us we're ready to make an offer.

But before you can get to that big step you have to address your financial situation. I'd highly recommend you have this conversation while you're still engaged long before the wedding. Find out what kind of debt you each have -- credit cards, college loans, car payments etc. Then talk about savings -- how much do you each have saved, do you have a retirement account, what is your outlook on long term saving? Everyone has a different approach to personal finances and knowing where you each stand BEFORE the wedding will make big financial decisions easier to make down the road. The last thing you want is to be turned down for a mortgage because one of you had terrible credit and were too scared to tell the other.

Any advice from those of you who've already bought your first place together? I'm interested to hear from NYC apartment owners as well as just general feedback from all over the country.

Love is sweet...

I'm still waiting for our proofs from our photographer, but I just couldn't resist posting this photo from the end of the evening. While everyone was enjoying their cake, Mr. Onion and I headed across the Church Street Marketplace to Ben & Jerry's! What would a Vermont wedding be with out some B&J ice cream?! Yum -- mint chocolate chunk!



The funny thing is because I wasn't in a typical wedding dress and wasn't wearing my veil any more no one even noticed us until they saw Daria and her husband Andy with their cameras!


Such a funny experience to blend in on the one day where you think you'd be the center of attention. I loved it actually!

I had this ice cream run planned -- I ate hardly any cake (so sad, because it was SO good) because I was saving room for ice cream. Anyway, I asked Mr. Onion to carry two things with him on our wedding day.

1) Enough money to buy me an ice cream
2) A migraine pill for me (nothing can ruin your wedding day faster then a migraine)! Luckily for me, I didn't need the medicine, but I did enjoy my ice cream ;)

Any other brides stop for ice cream with their new husband? I'd love to see photos if you did!

Registry Completion

On Saturday after the great bee meet-up, Mr. Onion and I went to the Crate and Barrel on Madison Avenue and 60th Street to complete our registry. Crate and Barrel offers a 10% discount after your wedding on the items left on your registry. Tips below -- keep reading!




Above are the items we decided to buy -- All Clad Stainless Steel 14 piece set (we LOVE to cook and this is something we'll have for a lifetime -- in fact, it has a lifetime guarantee), our dishes -- Kita Dinnerware, and our silver ware -- Thompson Place Settings.

I wanted to highlight a few things that weren't clear to us and hope it saves you time, trouble and money!

1) The 10% discount can be used twice -- once on-line and once in stores.

2) If you decide to use your 10% discount in the store you have to have the completion card they mail to you after your event.

We had our gifts shipped to my parents house because we don't have a doorman and we thought this would be safer/easier. So, the completion form was apparently mailed to them and we had no idea. If you do not have this form with you, you cannot receive your 10% discount!!

3) Even though there are a ton of items on the website that say "free shipping" (pretty much everything except furniture), that apparently doesn't apply to registry completion. So it works out that the 10% you "save" goes right back to paying for shipping your order. Serious bummer!

4) If the item is not on your registry you do not get the 10% discount. However, you can put anything on your registry after your event before you decide to make your one time purchase and the 10% will apply.

5) Your 10% discount is only good for 6 months after your wedding so make sure to take advantage of it before the clock runs out.

Learn more about Crate and Barrel's gift registry HERE. I'd recommend you call customer service if you have any questions before you register so you're not surprised after your wedding. We had some issues but the customer service representatives were very helpful and came up with a happy solution to our problems.

Seeing each other before the ceremony?

Whether or not to see each other before the ceremony is a big decision for most couples. More and more couples are choosing to see each other prior to the ceremony for a number of reasons.


As always, click to enlarge images

We decided to see each other before the ceremony for a few reasons. At first, I thought it would be very romantic to have the first time we saw each other be when I walked down the isle. Then I realized that, as I'm slightly nearsighted and wasn't planning to wear my glasses on our wedding day, that I simply wouldn't be able to make out the expression on Mr. Onion's face that I was so looking forward to.

Also, it was very important to us to enjoy our entire day with our guests, which also meant attending our cocktail hour instead of spending that time with our photographer.

I am thrilled we decided to do this. My only regret was we didn't have as much time as I'd hoped because it took about 45 minutes longer than I'd planned to get my girls rounded up and seated at Mirabelle's Cafe (who made our beautiful cake) for lunch after I got my hair and make-up done. This cut our "just us" photo time down significantly.

The guys all got sandwiches and brought them back to the inn (so much smarter). So I guess my advice here is don't try to have a nice seated meal -- order sandwiches! Haha.


Photo taken by my BIL/GM.

But seriously, no matter how much you plan every hour of your day, you never know when something might hold you up -- so add extra "just in case time" to you schedule. I'd say 20-30 minutes between each appointment.

OK -- now on with the pictures we took in the time we had to run over to the University of Vermont campus...prior to our wedding party/family photos...all of which had to happen before 4 PM when our ceremony began! Pfew!








Did you/do you plan to see each other before the ceremony? Time for another poll (it's just too fun to see a quick over view of what you all think)!

Yes

No

Please elaborate about what choice you made, why and how you felt about it afterwards (if you're already married).

Blogging leading to bridal competition?

In my recent post, "Getting Ready Teasers" I talked about the effect blogs have had on wedding planning and reader Rosie brought up an interesting point.

"Speaking of the effect of wedding blogs: the double edged sword is that while it allows people to share thoughts, it also creates an unintentional sense of competition and one-upmanship. Not to be sensational, but does anybody else ever feel this way at all?"

I feel a poll coming on...keep reading.


OOT Basket


DIY Fourtune Cookie Escort Cards


DIY Table Numbers


DIY Water Bottle Labels

All pictures above from beautiful knottie, Mrs. Safari's wedding. I call the "DIY Queen!" She put so much of herself into her wedding. Above are a few of her efforts completed (Photos by Kenny Pang).

I was surprised to read Rosie's comment because not once did I think I had to do something, or do it better, because I saw it on-line. There are lots of things that are done at weddings I saw on theknot or weddingbee that I didn't do -- bathroom baskets, slipper basket, candy buffet, tissue packets, "will you be my BM?" cards, table numbers etc.

I did however get some great ideas I wouldn't have known about -- my picture slide show, my boidoir photo session and save-the-dates for instance. I found myself generally inspired by all the wonderful ideas and attention to detail but honestly didn't feel like I had to compete in any way.

So let's do this anonymously so you can be honest with yourself...a POLL.

Did/do you feel a sense of competition or one-upmanship because of wedding communities like weddingbee or theknot?

Yes

No

Feel free to comment or elaborate in the comments section.