loans for a wedding?!

There has been a lot of talk about money and opulent wedding related spending on the bee today -- Mrs. Caterpillar's "The Weight of the World" post and Miss Jasmine's "Opulent Wedding Spending" post.



I wanted to address this too. When we started planning our wedding my mother saw an advertisement for a local bank in our small town. I wish I'd kept it so I could show it to you. There was a picture of a bride and her father ready to walk down the isle in their back yard (a la "Father of the Bride" [1991] with Steve Martin). The advertisement was encouraging you to take out a second mortgage on your home to give your daughter "the day of her dreams!"

When my mother found this she nearly died. She decided there was no way we'd let our planning get to that point -- she had "x dollars" to contribute to the wedding and that was it. We could use this money towards the wedding, towards a down payment on an apartment -- whatever we wanted to do.

With hard work and serious prioritising we were able to come in 4% under budget when all was said and done! I am very proud of the wedding we pulled off and love that our guests felt welcome and thought it was tasteful and fun.

What to do:

My advice, to those of you who are just starting to plan, is decide what you have to spend BEFORE you start planning. I know this sounds basic, but so many people jump right in with out talking about money first and end up WAY over their heads. Talk with both sets of parents and come to a solid bottom line. Then from there make priorities. If a wedding in the city where you met is what you value most, then make certain compromises -- you'll have less people, buy a dress off the rack, forgo a cake etc.

How we did it:

We set up a solid budget (including tip, tax and delivery costs) for the total number of guests we were inviting -- not how many people we thought would attend. Then did some research in each area to get a ball park of the costs and then started looking for vendors knowing what we had to spend in each category. It can be done on a budget -- restaurant receptions, off season, Friday nights -- there are so many ways to host a wedding that won't put you in debt before you even begin your lives together!

If any of you have money saving tips or have questions about choices we made along the way, please comment below.

How to build a wedding budget

I've seen budgets come up quite a bit recently, so I thought I'd throw in my two cents for those of you who are at the beginning of your planning. Using this method we were able to stick pretty honestly to our budget so far:

1) Before you set a total "budget" number decide what will be included in that number.

2) Then get a quote from 2-3 vendors in each category to get an idea of what is to be expected in your area. Our budget categories are as follows:

a) Reception
b) Attire/Beauty
c) Ceremony
d) Flowers/decorations
e) Music
f) Photography
g) Stationery
h) Transportation/Lodging
i) Favors

3) Then set your budget from this information. At this point you'll want to sit down with both sets of parents (or whoever else ) is going to help pay and get an idea of what they will contribute. This will help you determine what (if anything) you and your fiance will have to save.

4) Include tax, tips, delivery/shipping cost in all your budget items because this is a fast way to blow your budget. I can't stress this enough! If you had these percentages factored in from the beginning you'll be much better off.

5) Put it all in one place (I used excel b/c I heart excel). Once you have an idea for each category -- fill in the expenses as you start to make commitments so you can see where you may have to cut back.

I hope this helps some of you who are just starting to plan! If you are successful you might just have enought money left over for this:

Wedding dress budgeting...

A Note about budgeting for a wedding dress: Don't forget that there are other costs involved than just the sticker price of the gown.

Other costs of your bridal look include:

a) Fittings, which can be 15% or more of the gown
b) Tax (which can sometimes be avoided by shipping out of state -- but then there are shipping costs)
c) a veil
d) shoes
e) a bra for the dress (can be anywhere from $70-$150 I found)

Although my gown was $1,770, I budgeted $2500 which is about what I ended up spending as follows:

Romona Keveza Gown: $1,770
Pattern change (opening the cup): $300
Alterations: $200
Tax: $173.36
Subtotal: $2,443.35

Long-line Bra (from Bra Tenders): $99
Veil (from Rose's Bridal): $50
Shoes (from zappos.com): $180 (a wedding gift from a friend)

Grand Total: $2,772.36

Actual cost to me minus the shoes: $2,592.36

This is just a little over where I said I'd planned on being, so I was very happy. But notice the whole look cost just over $1,000 more than the gown itself.